Before I Die

Have you ever had to make a letter of what you think your life will be like twenty or fifty years into the future and then describe everything about it? I've had a few, with one or two of them being in Spanish.  Thinking about my purpose in life is like that.  Basically, in both, I have a list of the goals I want to accomplish and hopefully achieve before I die.  So I'm sure you're asking, "What are your goals? What is your purpose?" I happen to have a variety, some broad and others narrow, some funny and others serious, some short term and others long term. And you, you lucky dogs, have the pleasure of hearing them. Congratulations!

Those narrow goals, the ones that are thought out in excessive detail, happen to be my favorites.  Being a trilingual therapist, writer, and philanthrapist in London who constantly travels around the world is probably my narrowest idea for my future.  Having a sexily-accented British husband and two daughters is another goal of mine, but the word "hope" could be substituted in for the word "goal."  Some of my more broad goals include traveling (I do not have all of my destinations thought out yet!), become more organized, and, of course, save or dominate the entire world.  Some of my more funny goals include meeting the cast of Harry Potter, creating a four-tier, completely amazing, decked-out-in-elaborate-frosting-and-fondant cake, and holding a real human brain in my own two hands.  Yes, I said HUMAN BRAIN!!!!!! This has been on my list for a while.  The one thing I'm really known for at Aurora High School is being a brain, and ironically I would like to hold one in my hands.  The idea of holding something that in turn holds knowledge is truly fasinating to me.  Now, some of my more serious goals include publishing at least five books, donating my body to science when I die, getting Babygirl, my favorite dog/a very spunky white labrador, back from my dad, and going through my ten years of college without a massive debt.  All of those reasons vary in time (short term, long term, or whenever I feel like it). And as much as I would love to name them all again to take up more words, I'm sure you don't want to read them either.  One goal of mine is to do something that wasn't expected by myself. This goal would be like the mystery flavor dumb pop, my unknown.  I know there is something I am going to do that is completely different but it's going to be perfect or at least as close to my definition of perfect as I will ever get.  Lastly, my one goal that will guide my life is the goal that deletes that cliche, "What if?"  I want to die with no regrets of anything in my life.  I want to live my life taking chances and leaving no if's behind to build in the back of my mind.

Now there are two different definitions to purpose.  One is goals, and the other is actually purpose.  I believe my purpose in life is to meet people and to help people with their problems.  I'm naturally a people-person and always have been.  My mouth is on constant overload when I'm with complete strangers.  Friendships appear out thin air it seems.  Sometimes it's actually easier to talk to strangers than people I have known my entire life.  There's something weird in being able to talk about your life and your problems and never having to see them again.  This is one of the reasons I think therapy works the way it does.  Telling your problems to your therapist in complete confidence that no one else will ever know has to make the process easier.  I'm also good at helping people.  I said something to strangers but it also works the other way.  People tend to tell me their problems too.  One thing that makes this possible, besides my incredible listening ability that lets me hear whispered conversations in another room, is my ability to feel empathy.  In Junior Leadership, empathy was one of top five strengths.  Empathy the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.  I can understand how other people are feeling.  I have the ability to help people, and I actually like to.  When I don't help people, like if I'm really late, I feel horrible about not doing anything.  I've felt bad about not holding a door open for someone before.  Deep down, I know I'm meant to help people.  It's the reason I'm here.

Just like our fingerprints, I'm unique when it comes to my purpose.  You will never find anyone who has the same goals as I do ( I doubt you'd find ANYONE else who wants to hold a human brain).  But I'm okay with that, because I love who everything that is a part of me.